rage

I hate being in therapy. I spend one hour a week trying to figure out my irrational thoughts and behaviour. I spend the rest of the week trying to figure out what the hell happened to me 20 years ago. I spend hours making correlations between my stomach and the fucked up behaviours of others.

How is someone supposed to feel when a professional explains that you are incapable of anger? Furthermore, I only experience rage. How do I respond that? I think back to the great lengths I go to in order to avoid anger/rage.

What the hell happened me? Do I really want to know?

I hate therapy!