Sleep

I stepped into the downstairs bathroom, downed two Tylenol PM with a glass of Alka-Seltzer, and brushed my teeth. Years of insomnia led to a slight dependency on sleep aids. The average person can fall asleep in 15 minutes or less; on a good night I can find slumber after about two hours.

Albert watching, I crawled into bed, settled in, and whispered his name. On cue, he bounded into bed and curled up next to my back. I designed the space myself. The queen-size bed was elevated above the rest of the furniture. Decked out in deep purple and sky blue velvet the bed faced a large bank of windows. I intended the space to be the ultimate in comfort to entice the sandman.

Sleep had never been a good friend. I would put it off as long as possible only to give in willing and take as much as possible. I often felt like I’m about to drop to the floor and die yet I do not wish to sleep.

Each night before I turn out the bedside light, I try to think of all the daily happenings that I should be thankful for. This night I was very pleased with my day. I’d relaxed in the last of the autumn’s afternoons. I’d prepared the flower beds and other plants for the long winter ahead. I relished the sunburn that blushed my cheeks: a warm kiss from God.

For the first time in my life I had placed a telephone in my bedroom. I felt I was finally safe from tragic midnight phone calls. The phone rang now. Sad and low it chirped at me. I switched on the bedside lamp illuminating the space. Looking at the clock, I knew any news between the witching hour and dawn could not be good news.

I learned this fact early. Mom worked graveyard at the hospital. Some mornings she would come home with a vacant look, reeking of cigarettes, and I knew something had gone wrong. I dreaded those mornings because of the damage they did to my mother’s psyche; however, I loved those mornings because I could glimpse her frailty. That was the only time in my life I’d seen her with her guard down.

The phone chirped again. Why had I put that Goddamn phone in here? What could have happened now? Hadn’t I suffered every imaginable tragedy?