Lost Journals

Is there anything better than tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches when you are sick?

I finished a new draft of Catharsis and that's exactly what happened. I've waited fifteen years to write that ending and it didn't feel good. I wonder what would happen if my mother were to ever read my stuff. Can we say Ya Ya Sisterhood?

How much should children keep from their parents to protect them? When was the point that the tables changed, when Mom could no longer protect me and I started taking care of her?I forget how dependant she is on me. She doesn't her husband so at Christmas I'm left doing much of her bidding. Furthermore, she's slightly agoraphobic. She's fine in stores she's known for years but new stores she wants to shop at have to wait for my visits.

I've taken care of plenty of family members - alcoholics, addicts, compulsive gamblers and bi-polars. I didn't think I take care of my mom until she was much older. The worst part is I think my writing would kill her.

I had a professor tell me that you can't write but what you are and I agree. My best writing comes from honesty about my life and sincerity about who I was and am now. My mother has made mistakes. All mothers make mistakes. But holding a mirror in front of my mom would send her over the edge.

Goodnight Mom. I don't hold you responsible. You are lovely and amazing.